Holidays / Rewards

WIN “HOLIDAY” LOOT: 2013 “Holiday Hoedown” Outlaw Rewards Contest

MAIN-HOLIDAY-2013 Framed

Because “Merry” is so 2012.


“It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”


For some, the popular holiday tune originating back in 1963 doesn’t always hold true during the Yuletide seasons of present day.  With major crisis’ in the world like the middle east, high unemployment, even higher gas prices, the uncertainty of U.S. healthcare and the concern over whether Ben Affleck will make an adequate Batman, it’s no wonder that the lot of us have more on our minds than Professor Xavior.


Enter stage right, Geek Outlaw.  In the hopes of making this gift-giving season a little more Festivus for the rest-of-us, I’ve prepared a spread of a geeky giveaways that would make even the big guy envious (assuming Mr. Claus is also like a kid in a comic-con).


Main Spread

Everything is up for grabs… minus the table and my LA Kings stocking.
(Sorry, if I had enough money for lawyers, they would have told me to say that.)


I’m sure you are all dying to know what’s required to enter such an amazing contest.  As with most of my rewards giveaways – and expectations of my barber – I don’t expect much.  Being a huge fan of Holiday movies, I have only one question; what is your favorite quote from a holiday themed movie?  Quick tip; feel free to think outside the box.  The movie doesn’t have to be a sappy animated Christmas cartoon, it can be any movie that revolves around the Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hanukkah holidays.  Sorry Kwanza and every other holiday that I’ve never seen a movie about.  Maybe next year when I become more culturally sensitive… but I highly advise against holding your breath.


Spread Closeup

“Mmmm, non-essential geeky swag…. ahhhhh…”


Submit your quotes in the comments below or to (or both) by Midnight (PST) of December 15th, 2013 for your chance to win!  (You also must Like Geek Outlaw on Facebook and be an e-mail subscriber to the site to be eligible.)  Despite my poor track record, I will be shipping out the prizes in time for the 25th.


I’ll be putting together three packages from my buffet of crap… err amazing gifts pictured above (including a few additional non-photographed surprises!)


That said, here are just SOME highlights of the loot that the randomly chosen winners will receive:




(ONE) 10″ Mighty ‘Lightning Power’ Talking THOR Figure


If you loved him in The Dark World, you will love him in your hand… err, on second thought…

And he speaks!



– (ONE) Copy of the The Guild – The Official Companion


It’s a book, but it has lots of pictures… so I liked it.



– (ONE) Classic TMNT retro style 2-layer t-shirt with beanie cap. [Adult Large]


“Turtles in a 2-layer tee and beanie, Turtle Power!”



(ONE) Captain America Easter basket with assorted Marvel candy containers

Easter Rewards

Geek Outlaw with painful wink on his face, not included.



2ND PRIZE – (Also part of Grand Prize package)


– (ONE) Copy of J. Harmon’s first novel, Snyper: A Matter of Caliber

Snyper Book

If you know how to read, I highly recommend this book.



3rd PRIZE  – (Also part of the 2nd & Grand Prize packages)


– (ONE) 2013 Hot Nerd Girl Calendar

Calendar Front

The calendar the Mayans didn’t want you to see.

Calendar Rear

It might be 11 months late, but at least you can still stare at the pictures.

HNG Holding Calendar

Live Vanna, only nerdier…. and hotter.


The best part of each package?  You guessed it, I will be including a few of the much sought after Geek Outlaw stickers.  These suckers are rare – if you consider seagulls rare – and it’s the perfect present for those who think it would be funny to gift you with a lump of coal.



Collect the whole set of one.


I’ll say it again, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”… to be a fan of Geek Outlaw!

Good luck to you all, and to all a good Holiday Hoedown.



“Is it just me, or has Santa been cutting back on the cost of presents?”




  1. “Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? “

  2. Daniel Coyne says:

    I don’t know if there’s any outdoing this one:

    “Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-@ss, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey sh!t he is. Hallelujah. Holy sh!t. Where’s the Tylenol?” – Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase)

  3. Darn people already beat me to Christmas Vacation LOL but I have one that tops alot of them, pardon the cuss words. I never win these things but hey never hurts to try right?

    Clark: Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f@!$ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white a$$ down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of a$$holes this side of the nuthouse.

  4. Ashley Soliday says:

    Charlie Brown Lucy: what does bethoven got to do with Christmas. Everyone talks about how great bethoven was, bethoven wasn’t so great. Schroeder: what do you mean bethoven wasn’t so great? Lucy: he never got his picture on bubble gum cards did he. Have you ever seen his picture on a bubble gum card? Hmmm? How can you some one is great who has never had his picture on bubble gum cards? Schroeder: good grief!

    • Quite possibly my favorite animated Holiday classic. Unfortunately, I don’t think as many people appreciate Peanuts as they used to. (The Peanuts and the comic.)

    • Congrats Ashely! You are the grand prize winner of the 2013 Outlaw Holiday Loot contest! Email me your shipping info to and I’ll get your prize package to you ASAP!

  5. Charlie Brown: Thanks for the Christmas card you sent me, Violet.
    Violet: I didn’t send you a Christmas card, Charlie Brown.
    Charlie Brown: Don’t you know sarcasm when you hear it?
    — A Charlie Brown Christmas

  6. Kate: “You say you hate Washington’s Birthday or Thanksgiving and nobody cares, but you say you hate Christmas and people treat you like you’re a leper.” – Gremlins.

  7. “You’ll shoot your eye out kid. Merry Christmas. HO … HO … HO”
    -A Christmas Story-

  8. Ralphie: “Oooh fuuudge! (Only I didn’t say “Fudge.” I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the “F-dash-dash-dash” word!)”
    Dad: “WHAT did you say?”
    Ralphie- “Uhh, umm…”
    Dad: “That’s what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on!”
    Ralphie: “(It was all over – I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmph. Mere child’s play compared to what surely awaited me.)” — A Christmas Story

  9. “Yippee Kai-yeah Mother F*****”
    Bruce Willis, “Die Hard”

  10. Ghost of Christmas Past: Face it, Frank. Garden slugs got more out of life than you.
    Frank Cross: Oh, yeah? Name one!
    – Scrooged

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