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WILD WILD PODCAST #8: Geek Outlaw goes Into the Storm with Lucy and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Hat Trick

A small hint as to how I was feeling prior to viewing the new Michael Bay-produced Ninja Turtle movie.


Welcome to the Wild Wild Podcast #8

Join co-host Erika “Spunky Destructor” and I as we talk about our first-ever hat trick review of films, which includes Into the Storm, Lucy and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. WARNING: SPOILERS WITHIN!



Spending any significant amount of time in a movie theater is akin to attending a sporting event. Both open you up to the potential of a satisfying experience or the possibility of feeling like your IQ was stripped down to Paris Hilton-levels while simultaneously losing 7% of your life span which can never be recovered no matter how many hours of civic duty you sign up for.

Based on advance feedback, the triple header undertaking of Lucy, Into the Storm, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles looked as if it was going to take me towards the latter of the two paths. My gut feeling told me that volunteering for a janitorial technician position in the Gaza Strip might be a more efficient use of my time.


Sad Theater

They must have been dragged to A Million Ways to Die in the West also.


Fortunately, Spunky Destructor and I – but mainly the ingenious creativity of my own stem cells – decided that this quantity of time devoted to sticking one’s hind quarters into a movie seat deserved an experience of epically comfortable proportions. Thus, my insistence that we view the movies at my local movie house, known as Cineopolis. To put it mildly folks, I can only equate viewing a film at a Cineoplois theater to watching a film on a drifting cloud somewhere up there with the big guy or girl themselves (since I have no interest in losing my loyal female readership. I’m an equal power-of-the-sexes kind of geek).



Unfortunately, my seat didn’t come with the blonde in the slinky red dress next to it.


The seats themselves are made of individual motorized leather recliners that reach a near flat laying position. That’s right, I said motorized. Each seat has a mini table for food, drinks, and adult beverages, all which can be brought to you by hitting a call-button at the seat any time before or during the film. My only advice for attending this type of luxury super-theater would be to see something you are not truly intent on sleeping through. That way if you miss something due to servers fulfilling orders or the fact you fell asleep in the chairs more comfortable than any bed known to man, you won’t be as disappointed.


Cineopolis Photo

Who knew heaven runs $19 dollar a seat.


Getting back on track – the same one I find myself constantly straying from – one of the three movies both Spunky Destructor and I absorbed within a time span of 24 hours actually proved to be a bit of a surprise. Here is a brief recap of our thoughts, which again seemed to align somewhat similarly, although not identically.


–          Into the Storm


A redneck’s dream come true… a twister and a BBQ all in one!


Full disclosure here, had it not been for the adamant requests that I see this flick with her, this film would have never been reviewed. Something told me from the very beginning this thing would be a bomb. The trailers sold this as an unneeded Twister sequel – which it was in spades with a heavy dose of Blair Witch thrown in – and the result proved it was definitely unneeded.   Who says there is no such thing as male intuition?

1 Spur



–          Lucy


Ok, NOW it’s a party…


On the other end of the spectrum, I had high hopes for Lucy. Well, more specifically Scarlett Johansson and her onscreen “presence.” Unfortunately, that presence only lasted for the first 30 minutes before the film started taking a turn towards the wacky and incoherent.   Then the end came and made me wish I had instead took that job in the Middle East.

2 Spurs



–          Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles


I mean really, are mutant turtle – human hybrids supposed to be sexy?


Assuming you can use the powers of deduction, you’ve probably figured out this was the surprise on my list, and what a pleasant surprise it was. Admittedly, the instilled hate of anything Michael Bay by many in the geek community along with scathing reviews that would make anyone cry themselves into a coma may have had something to do with that. In spite of it all, however, I found this incarnation of turtle power… wait for it… entertaining! The nightmare-inducing humanoid CGI turtles actually grew on me thanks to their personalities, and as he does in most of the current renditions, Michelangelo steals the show with his humor, specifically the countless pop-culture references he throws out this go around.

While there is still plenty to groan about. (The Fu Manchu CGI abombination that is Splinter and the Swiss Army knife used to play Shredder… ugh.), there is still enough fun to be had to warrant a viewing… even if it means ordering in a few pizzas and enjoying them from the comfort of your own sewer… err, home once it’s available for rent or download.  For my money though, I still think the 2007 all CGI flick simply titled TMNT, is one of the best full-length turtle film we’ve gotten in the past 25 years.

3.14 Spurs


Don’t forget to join co-host Erika “Spunky Destructor” and I as we chat about our movie hat-trick which included Into the Storm, Lucy and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. WARNING: SPOILERS WITHIN!

(Also available on iTunes!)




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