Happy End of the World Day fellow Outlaws! December 21, 2012 is finally upon us, and as the planet crumbles to its demise, I wanted to do the first and most important thing that came to my mind: post a blog. Kidding of course, breakfast first, then post a blog.
Of course, for those of us not part of the 19% chunk of the population that thinks Elvis might still be alive (or not sure), it has long been figured out that the end of world is most likely not going to take place today, 12-21-2012. That’s not to say it may not happen soon, but right before Christmas? I mean really, who does that?
Still, if you were to believe how some people interpreted the Mayan calendar, today would be the day that you could forget about clocking in to work. What many scholars (aka students that never left school) figured out was that the Mayans really weren’t technically predicting the end of the world, they just ran out of calendar supplies.
It’s very similar to the situation created when computer engineers decided it would be better to upgrade the graphics engine of solitaire than to patch a glitch in the way computers transitioned to the date 1/1/2000. Much in the same way, Mayans decided they had spent way too much time working on calendars and it was high time to start thinking about developing some decent all-inclusive resorts (that included free alcohol).
In technical terms, the Mayans made a calendar that only went up to the 13th baktun, which coincidentally happens to be today, December 21, 2012. A baktun (named after a popular Mayan music downloading service) is a cycle of time that consists of about 144,000 days, which is just shy of the time needed for the U.S. government to decide how they are going to balance the budget.
While I was indeed looking forward to not having to pay any of more of my outstanding credit card bills, unfortunately it seems the earth will still keep turning come December 22nd, and indeed Chase will still keep charging me interest on that new home theater surround sound system I just bought. (Damn those inaccurate ancient prophecies!)
Nevertheless, all this apocalyptic chatter does spark a more intriguing question: what would you do if you knew if and when life as we know it was going to come to an abrupt stop?
WARNING: Geek Outlaw is about to get very deep…. as in philosophical, not as in the ‘adult entertainment industry best-sellers’ kind of way, which I know immediately crossed many of my readers’ minds (as it did my own).
With that thought-provoking and depressing inquiry, it also allows me to transition into a mini-review for a movie I just recently viewed, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. It’s a straight forward title for a straight forward concept.
From the very beginning scenes of the film, it’s made clear that a huge meteor the size of Kim Kardashian’s backside is on a collision course for earth and will destroy all life on the planet… at least on the surface. In response to the news, the wife of Dodge (Steve Carell) decides to make a break for it and ends their relationship in a panic, in turn destroying Dodge’s world emotionally more than any rock from outer space could.
Depressed – for obvious reasons – he eventually befriends Penny (Keira Knightly), who is having relationship problems of her own. The two quickly become an unlikely pair in their forced search for closure to their lives long before they ever imagined having to.
While the movie as a whole was mildly entertaining, where it succeeded most was in compelling you to think about what you would do with the rest of your life if you knew you only had about three weeks to live.
The flick does a fairly good job of representing the reality of what one might think would happen. From the seedy elements of society rearing its ugly head in the form of looters and rioters to those whom decide that they will go out with a gluttonous helping of alcohol, drugs and orgies. (I know which of the three would top my list.)
So what would I do you ask? Obviously not the easiest answer in the world, but since I brought it up, I better answer it.
I guess my first inclination would be to travel, maybe go somewhere or see something I’ve always wanted to see. Most likely these would be outdoorsy and nature-related destinations to take in the natural wonders of earth while they still existed.
Being that I’m made up of testosterone laden DNA, any type of worries or restrictions I placed on ‘random physical intimate encounters’ would be lifted in that almost everything, almost everywhere would be fair game. That is, however, assuming I was still single.
Still, being that I tend to be a touch more emotional than most guys – who consider grunting a form of intellectually romantic poetry – physical gymnastics with anyone other than someone I’m truly in love with would just be empty, and more importantly feel empty. It’s not the way I want to go out if I know I’ve got to go out.
When it comes down to brass tacks, the bottom-line, and every other over-used cliche of the same meaning, there is no where I would really rather be than with my family and friends. I would spend as much time as humanly possible with the ones I love and care about the most. Yeah, I know it’s the ‘easy’ answer, but it’s also really the only answer. After all life is all about the relationships and bonds we form with the people we love… no matter who they might be.
So what say you fellow outlaws? What would you do if you knew the inevitable for you and everyone else was just around the corner?
On the surface I realize this whole topic might seem a bit morbid and depressing, but if you really take a minute or so to think it over, the answer may reveal what exactly the priorities are in your own life. What’s more, it might create a little motivation to cross some of those musts off your bucket list.
You know the ones like riding a wild bull in nothing but a cowboy hat or scaling Mount Rushmore in a Spider-Man costume. (Both of which are completely random examples that are in no way, shape or form part of my own list… anymore.)
Dr Ray Stantz: Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world.
Winston Zeddemore: Myth? Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we’ve been so busy lately is because the dead HAVE been rising from the grave?
Dr Ray Stantz: …How ’bout a little music?
Winston Zeddemore: Yeah.